Musings about Mortality 1.5

We were in New York City recently, visiting my 30 year old son.  He sells used books on the Internet, lives in groovy Brooklyn and otherwise enjoys being part of the 21st century culture….something his father at 62 is still adjusting to. He took us to the Apple Store (no, not the local grocery) in SoHo at 103 Prince Street.  Yahoo describes it in this way: “Upon entering…you are immersed in a sea of technology including iPods, laptops, speakers, and digital cameras to mention a few. The new age architecture consists of a stunning glass staircase with a huge skylight that naturally illuminates the entire store. … Come check it out and be amazed by the breath-taking structure in addition to the wide variety of computer hardware and software.”  This short spacial encounter produced overwhelming waves of culture shock…at a warp somewhere in time and place that I hadn’t quite mastered yet. I’m clearly not a Dr. Who type. 

What can I say?  Confession time.  I’m a late-adapter.  It is not that I can’t imagine the possibilities.  It is just that my mental system isn’t quite nimble enough to handle to the tech-no how.  It doesn’t help that Thomas Friedman (The World is Flat) reminds me that the future belongs to “The Great Adapters.”  The work place now rewards those who are “more adaptable and versatile.”  “Versatilists…apply depth of skill to a progressively widening scope of situations and experiences, gaining new competencies, building relationships, and assuming new roles.”  I like the “building relationships” side of things.  But really…is there any hope for a guy who hasn’t yet gotten his own cell-phone.  I know, shocking…how can I survive…what if I get lost in the mountains without a honing device.  I guess I’ll be eaten by a bear. 

According to the Washington Post, ”we’ve passed a watershed of more than 3.3 billion active cell phones on a planet of some 6.6 billion humans in about 26 years.”  “There are at least 30 nations with more cellphones than population.”  Maybe I need to go back to Tanzania soon.  I observed a flurry of text messaging there when visiting in January.  How did Tanzania, one of the world’s poorest countries, get ahead of me. Actually I did my first text message ever there [thanks to Kristopher Hartwig].  Maybe I need to return to East Africa for more retooling since the overall pace there is a little frenetic than SoHo.  For starters, I promised my dental hygienist this week that I would move up to an electric tooth brush.  Of course, I have been promising her that now for a few years.  I’ll get around to it.  There is hope; I now use dental floss.  How many years did that take?

Why is it so hard to change our behaviors…even in the face of good scientific advice…to improve our health and wellness?  I’ve been reading a book on Social Marketing.  It suggests that many health promotion organizations see “the customer as an adversary, as someone who has the wrong habits or wrong ideas or is just plain ignorant or unmotivated.”  Among a number of points, the book by Alan R. Andreasen, offers that the social marketer needs to see the customer as “someone with unique perceptions, needs and wants to which the marketer must adapt.” 

Recently, I lectured to the physician assistant graduate students about Advance Care Planning….that is, conversations about your future needs for health care, particularly when faced with a life threatening condition.  It is all about your ability to make decisions through a proxy who will respect your values when it comes to tough choices.  This is a hard sell.  Few people want to think about their mortality; let alone commit to paper an authority to have a trusted family member or friend serve as your advocate when you may no longer be able to speak for yourself. 

There is still got a lot of work to do to help folks with their “unique perceptions, needs and wants” about end of life care.  Hospice is being more and more marginalized by a perception of it as a service agency for ”brink of death” care.  Perhaps ”holistic palliative care” will mean more for baby boomers who are looking for creative choices when it comes to their life style needs.  A little less intimidating.  Whether it is hospice or palliative care on the horizon, all of us could benefit from reading Irvin D. Yalom’s new book “Staring at the Sun: Overcoming the Terror of Death.”  We can decide for courageous living… including designating a health care proxy.

Since my wife is my proxy and my son is my alternate proxy, I’ve got time and energy to focus on more immediate needs.  When visiting Soho, we also came upon a place called “Rice to Riches.”  A trip to their web site, http://www.ricetoriches.com/index.2.php, is the next best thing for those who want to visit this rice pudding nirvana.  My son had “cinnamon sling” with caramel topping and I indulged “the edge of rum raisin” with whipped cream. With 21 such flavors, how can you go wrong making a decision.  While I may not be quite ready to join the iPod generation, we can share comfort food for the journey.